the big chop

by jolevitan


at the prepubescent age of 12 i made the decision to go from long flowing hair straight to the pixie. it was either prompted by natalie portman or angelina jolie, either way i didn’t realize the implications of this hairstyle when transplanted onto a slightly chubby, flat chested, awkward stage tween. hair or not so much hair elementary school was not my time to shine, even the nerds made fun of me. in attempt at drowning the mockery i held my head high, hair mascaraed the front piece of my pixie blue, smeared glitter gel on my eyelids, tied on my moon boots, and accessorized with a spice girls lolly. There were weak moments and tears when my classmates referred to me as mihai (the boy on exchange from russia) but i’m proud of my young self for receiving the badge of a bold haircut during a trying time. i think it was that very chop that stitched my future in attempting to go against the grain when it comes to fashion and appearance. i still have nightmares that my hair is gone and that nobody likes me anymore because of it- it is this insecurity that will make it very difficult for me to mimic these pixie’s i’m loving so much. the unique gift that a trend like this promises is that it won’t become too ubiquitous- there just aren’t enough woman confidant enough to part with their locks, that’s why i give big respect to the ones that do, and am proud to say i know what it feels like to only need a teensy dollop of shampoo.