newsprint and vegan oreos

by jolevitan

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I like boiled whitefish, my hips are tight, and am an avid crossworder. Maybe I’m hardwired in dog years? To get the crossword, I’ll do most anything. I subscribed to the Toronto Star solely for the purpose of puzzling, trashing the rest, and reading other publications online, I’ve noted coffee shops in other cities where I can sit and synonymize with the purchase of one everlasting espresso shot, I’ve considered brokering deals with my neighbour whereby I purchase their day old papers at a discounted price, and I’ve stolen… When I was living in my in-laws golf community, I took the crossword out of a few papers that piled up in the driveway of a house across the street (they must have been away, there was about a week’s worth)- in other words I thieved the elderly’s sport right from their property- let’s call this rock bottom. Stores sell papers. Seems like a rip off. They sell books of them- absolute no. Printers and internet an option too- blugh, that’s like telling Keith Richard’s to play guitar hero. Having one puzzle a day is the only way to expand my brain and force myself to complete, I need the crunch of the newspaper beneath the blade of my hand, and a felt tip pen (pencils are for non committal rookies.) I have been crossword free for a few days now… Time to get back in the game.

p.s. FYI Oreo’s are Vegan- chew on that… mentally, not physically. Unbelievable how one can misconstrue the way in which to achieve Beyonce’s ass.