newsprint and vegan oreos
by jolevitan
I like boiled whitefish, my hips are tight, and am an avid crossworder. Maybe I’m hardwired in dog years? To get the crossword, I’ll do most anything. I subscribed to the Toronto Star solely for the purpose of puzzling, trashing the rest, and reading other publications online, I’ve noted coffee shops in other cities where I can sit and synonymize with the purchase of one everlasting espresso shot, I’ve considered brokering deals with my neighbour whereby I purchase their day old papers at a discounted price, and I’ve stolen… When I was living in my in-laws golf community, I took the crossword out of a few papers that piled up in the driveway of a house across the street (they must have been away, there was about a week’s worth)- in other words I thieved the elderly’s sport right from their property- let’s call this rock bottom. Stores sell papers. Seems like a rip off. They sell books of them- absolute no. Printers and internet an option too- blugh, that’s like telling Keith Richard’s to play guitar hero. Having one puzzle a day is the only way to expand my brain and force myself to complete, I need the crunch of the newspaper beneath the blade of my hand, and a felt tip pen (pencils are for non committal rookies.) I have been crossword free for a few days now… Time to get back in the game.
p.s. FYI Oreo’s are Vegan- chew on that… mentally, not physically. Unbelievable how one can misconstrue the way in which to achieve Beyonce’s ass.
Superb writing… Love this one
Sent from the Palm Trees Beverly Lipson
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Thanks Bev! Don’t tell coral cove about my heist!