being jo

when things look the way i feel

Tag: emanuel alt

real pants have flies- the leather edition

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michelle obama blames school lunch programs- i blame the legging- these elastic waistbands will keep you believing those gluten free hamantaschen are working like a charm. regardless of massaging the obesity epidemic, i’m sick and tired of seeing what looks to be as effective as an american apparel liquid legging, posing as a leather pant. i want my leather pants to have a fly, a button, perhaps pockets- is that too much to ask when these puppies are often a grand? On top of that i wouldn’t mind if my knees didn’t look like bloated walnuts begging for air. refer to emanuel alt on this one- she’s got it down.

front tuckers

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aka the mullet tuck, hockey hair tuck, shlong tuck (short/long), ten ninety… the mullet is always an easy way to describe short in the front, freedom in the back… and never not funny to google image. but seriously, my oversized shirts are begging for a little definition these days, a messy little under tuck in the front has become the missing piece that shows a little more shape, showcases a good belt, and assures others you are a. not pregnant, b. have a waist, and c. your pants do not have an elastic waistband. i was discussing the leather pant a few short days ago, urging that all forms that do not have a button closure are considered a legging which deem them overvalued and unadaptable. i am pleased to state that all of my pants are tuckable, and side state that skirts are ape drapable as well.

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